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Well, April Fool's Day is successfully behind us, and that means it's time for the TNC News Week for April 1st. The TNC team searches the net each week for the strangest and most off news stories of the week, to give you, the reader a look at some articles you may have missed amidst all the Iraq War and Anna Nicole coverage.

This week's report is also a trendsetter of sorts, as we are for the first time posted through ShoutPost.com. Many thanks to the good folks at ShoutPost, advertising free blogs available through ShoutPost.com

On to today's Front Page:

The French TGV, or "train a grande vitesse," as the country's bullet train is called, with its 25,000-horsepower engine and special wheels broke the world speed record Tuesday for conventional rail trains, reaching 357.2 mph (574.8 kph) as it zipped through the countryside to the applause of spectators. Roaring like a jet plane, with sparks flying overhead and kicking up a long trail of dust, the black and chrome V150 with three double-decker cars surpassed the record of 320.2 mph (515.3 kph) set in 1990 by another French train. It fell short, however, of beating the ultimate record set by Japan's magnetically levitated train, which hit 361 mph (580.9 kph) in 2003. The double-decker cars were transformed into a laboratory for the event so that technicians from the state-run rail company SNCF and Alstom could gather data during the run. The goal was more than "simply breaking a record," Alain Cuccaroni, in charge of the technical aspects of testing said, adding that data from the test should help improve the security and comfort of passengers. My only real question is, who is in such a rush that they really need a train capable of 350 mph? I guess even the French want out of France as soon as possible.

Fan boys! Commence Salivation! KITT, the flame-throwing, river-jumping, talking muscle car from the `80s TV show "Knight Rider," is up for sale. Restored to its debut-season glory, the modified black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am is offered at $149,995 at a Dublin auto dealership. Johnny "Vette" Verhoek of Kassabian Motors has had the car, officially called Knight Industries Two Thousand, on display for about a month. Although it cannot achieve the 300 mph speeds that KITT reached, soar 50 feet in the air or throw smoke bombs, key features of the star car are intact. Perhaps most important, the red scanner light on the nose glows and makes a humming noise. The car has two working video screens on the dashboard, and the cockpit features buttons that light up in green, yellow and red: ski mode, rocket boost, micro jam, silent mode, oil slick and eject. Most of the buttons don't do anything, Verhoek said. Nor can the car hold a conversation or drive itself. Much like when you found out that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real.

Speaking of Easter, this in from Naugatuck, CT... Workers at two neighboring businesses in a small shopping plaza at 195 Rubber Ave. have differing opinions about whether or not people should show support for Jesus. An owner of a shop that puts photos onto DVDs placed a sign in front of a parking lot, which is used by both businesses, that says, "Easter: Beep for Christ." A tattoo artist next door countered Friday with a sign that says, "Honk twice for..." and shows a caricature of a red devil underneath the text. Both signmakers have remained civil, neither wanting to infringe on the other's right to free speech, however Claudette Soden, a devout Christian and owner of Photos Onto DVD said "His sign is not bothering me, but I know it's bothering Jesus. And children are going to pass by that sign and say, 'What is that? It looks like a devil.' And what are parents going to say to that?" My guess would be either "Duh" or "No sweetie, that's just Newt Gingrich"

In what will be known as my personal "I Knew It" moment of 2007, this week in Orlando, FL, three Walt Disney Co. employees were among 28 men charged with soliciting sex from a minor amid a weeklong sting operation in the Orlando area, authorities said. The men, ranging in age from college students to their 40s and 50s, had chatted online with people they believed to be boys and girls, ages 13 and 14, Polk County Sheriff's spokeswoman Donna Wood. "We take matters like this very seriously," Disney said in a statement released Monday. "The cast members have been placed on unpaid leave." Unpaid Leave?? How about "YOU'RE F-ING FIRED!!" Works for me.

I love reporting on stories about stupid criminals, and this week's is no exception. Cordae Lee Black, dropped his wallet, with several photo IDs in it, and some cash, following a robbery of Compass Bank on Central and Southern avenues in Phoenix, AZ. Instead of cutting his losses, Black, criminal mastermind that he is, decided he really loved that wallet and headed back to the bank to ask if anyone had found it. An hour later, a robbery detective noticed Black in the bank parking lot, not far from several marked police cars. He said he was looking for his wallet. The detective remarked "let me guess, you lost it about an hour ago?" before taking him into custody.

The world's first spiritual perfume - Virtue(R) - was premiered this week by IBI, a niche fragrance company in Orange, CA. Based upon an inspired Biblical formula, the perfume is designed to be a reminder of God, Christ, spiritual self and soul. "We turned to the Bible to seek inspiration about which items to include and became convinced that a formulation would reveal itself," explains Rick Larimore, IBI's chief executive officer. No word on whether Billy Graham was involved.

Our final story for this week comes from across the sea. Yesterday, for the first time in history, female soldiers took up posts guarding Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle. Five women from the King's Troop Royal Horse Artillery marched into Windsor while four from the Army Air Corps reported for duty at the Palace. However, being British, would anyone be able to tell the difference? Not me.

That will just about do it for this week. My thanks to the team here at TNC and to you the reader for taking the time to share in this bizzare world we call home. Please, if you have a news item you want us to report on, send a link to the TNC News Team at TheBigNoodle@gmail.com.

~Peace~

-The Doc